He's On My Side

Excerpts from today’s quiet time:

Micah 7:8,9 (Message)
“Don’t, enemy, crow over me.
I’m down, but I’m not out.
I’m sitting in the dark right now,
But God is my light.
I can take God’s punishing rage.
I deserve it—I sinned.
But it’s not forever.
He’s on my side
And is going to get me out of this.
He’ll turn on the lights
And show me His ways.
I’ll see the whole picture
And how right He is.”

Oh, how I need the light turned on in my brain! I know the truth will set me free.

To Blog or Not to Blog

Obviously I’m not a consistent blogger. Internet access in Swaziland is always slow and sometimes impossible. I could list other excuses like the busyness of home-schooling and potty-training, but I also know that people make time to do what is important to them.

Posting blogs is important to me, but honestly I’ve been a little afraid to be…honest. Often what is on my mind is not all that happy to write about. I know Ben also struggles with this. Sometimes he comes home more “down” than “up,” having dealt with the reality of AIDS, the lies people believe, and the consequences thereof. We struggle with our own personal issues, clinging to Jesus as we cry out for strength to not yield to our sinful cravings.

So, fear and pride have probably been the biggest hindrances for me in my blogging pursuit. Yet I’m tired of being so wrapped up in myself. If what I’m going through, day by day, and the things the Lord is teaching me through them can somehow encourage just one other person, than it is worth the risk of being vulnerable in cyberspace.

I’ll write what is in my heart; I’ll write what I believe the Lord is speaking to me. May I never come across preachy or “holier than thou,” for I am painfully aware of how desperate I am for Jesus’ strength to do anything right. Without Him I’m truly hopeless, but with His strength He says I can do all things. (Philippians 4:13)

So as I wrestle between my feelings and what I know to be true (God’s Word), I will post the things that I am led to write. May the trials I’ve been going through not be wasted experiences. May the Lord encourage us all through them.

Family Update

How about a quick family update?

I’m home schooling the kids this year, and it has been going quite well--thank You, Lord. There is a frantic thing inside me that wants to do this with excellence and not mess up. It keeps me begging God for wisdom. It’s fun, though, and even Trinity has her own little “desk” where she colors and does puzzles. I enjoy teaching the kids. This is just a right decision, one we prayed a lot about and are so glad we obeyed the Lord’s voice!

This past weekend our missionary “Survivor” group got together here for an Easter Egg Hunt at our house. It was so fun. It was also Crusoe Chapman’s first birthday party. We love our friends so much—wow, how we are blessed with such amazing people in our lives!

Yesterday four of us gals got together and drove—no kids—to a city in South Africa for a day of shopping. It was amazing. Oh, so fun. Ben and Dad worried the whole time, I’m afraid. But we’re all back safe and sound, with hearts still warm from all the laughter we shared together.

Ben, the kids, and I went to a Care Point last week armed with puppets, stickers, and candy. Do you remember “Bullfrogs and Butterflies”? Well, all the kids helped to make puppets sing a few songs off that very album with the help of a portable CD player. It was really fun, and the Care Point kids especially enjoyed it when Trinity would peek from behind our cloth “stage,” showing her curious little face to the crowd. Later, Kayla and Levi helped hand out suckers to the kids as they came through the line for their meal of pap and beans.

At one point Ben shared about Jesus dying on the cross and had some of the kids there help reenact the event. They seem very receptive to the Gospel, and responded when asked if they wanted to make Jesus their friend. I pray that the seeds planted and watered will grow strong. That’s the most important part of what we do.

Well, I have so much more to gush about. Perhaps I’ll post another blog soon. The Lord has been doing so much in my heart, teaching me over and over about the importance of worship as He allows me to walk through hard stuff. He is always faithful to see me through.