Lovin’ It

Have you ever found yourself doing what you never thought you’d do, and realize you’re passionate about it?

Ben and I have been pastoring Healing Place Church’s Swaziland campus for 18 months, now, and I’m more excited than ever to be doing this.



On Sunday mornings, I leave the house early for worship practice with snacks for our volunteers in tow. Since we’ve begun to have two services, we now get home well after 1:30 p.m.—-last Sunday it was after 2:30! Today at our house we hosted 30 or so people for a late lunch after church, holding our monthly HPC leaders meeting. Hours were invested yesterday in purchasing and preparing the food for today. Praise Jesus for our faithful hospitality team who helped!

Instead of feeling weary, I find myself exhilarated with all of it. I thrive on doing what the Lord has called us to do. I sincerely love our people. When we see evidence of spiritual growth in their lives, we are thrilled! And the Lord has blessed us with amazing, faithful volunteers who help make this happen.

Another really cool thing is how all three of my kids are lovin’ it, too. They helped with all the food preparations yesterday. Kayla is in the kid leadership program, so she is busily helping in various ways at children’s church. Levi is learning how to help run the sound board and is diligently learning guitar, eager for the day he can help lead worship. Trinity tags along with Kayla and loves on everyone she sees.



And to think, I never thought I’d be a pastor’s wife. God sure has a sense of humor. I’m well aware of the fact that without Him, we can’t do any of this. Without His strength, we’d fall on our faces, for sure. But He is doing it, and sometimes I just sit back, amazed at all that’s going on.

And I’m LOVING IT!!

13 Aug 09 Journal Entry

Exodus 15:26
“If you will carefully obey the LORD your God, do what is right in His eyes, pay attention to His commands, and keep all His statues, I will not inflict any illness on you I inflicted on the Egyptians. For I am the LORD Who heals you.”

These were instructions to Israel, just after their deliverance across the Red Sea and their jubilant praise to God. He has their attention, belief, and fear, and this is what He told them.

But then three verses later, in chapter sixteen, they were grumbling and complaining.

“Complain” is one of Kayla’s spelling words. Definition – “to find fault in.”

Hmmm…..

How can we ever presume to find fault in our Holy, Powerful, King of Kings, Universe Creator, Perfect One?

What follows the fault-finding and doubting His goodness and perfect ways? DISOBEDIENCE

Disobedience is the very thing the LORD addressed in Exodus 15:26. Israel was tested, and they repeatedly failed in chapter sixteen (ugh, and all throughout the Bible).

It’d exasperate me if I weren’t the same way! I doubt His goodness and do my own thing. I don’t like the path He leads me down, so I willfully go my own way.

Right into bondage.

Ah, Lord, so instead the Israelites’ rebellion and Your constant forgiveness and pursuit of relationship with them gives me hope that You also won’t give up on me!!

Thank You, Father. Thank You, Jesus. I love you.

Deliverance

Journal Entry
6 August 2009

Day #6 of 40 Days of Prayer, and I’ve already managed to break my fast. It was all contemplated and justified, even prayed about, but, “I was deceived, and I ate.” I spent time repenting last night, and am today sincerely thankful for second chances. I believe He has indeed washed me clean, clothed me with white robes of righteousness, and given me a fresh start. He’s in the business of doing that, so He’s good at it. :-) Praise Him!

Jesus, this is what You did at Calvary: took the punishment for our rebellions, for MY rebellion. Had You not done that, I’d be eternally separated from you.

But at Calvary, You also beat the enemy, and I don’t have to be enslaved to sin!

Exodus 15:1,2
“I will sing to the LORD,
For He is highly exalted;
He has thrown the horse
And its rider into the sea.
The LORD is my strength
And my song;
He has become my salvation.
This is my God, and I will
Praise Him,
My Father’s God, and I will
exalt Him.
The LORD is a warrior;
Yahweh is His Name.”

Moses and the people sang this just after Pharaoh and the Egyptians died in the Red Sea. What a moment, to see destroyed those who held them in bondage for over 400 years!

Beautiful Surrender

Journal Entry 21 July 21, 2009

“God wasn’t about to let such an important promise seem naturally fulfilled. Had Isaac and Rebekah conceived the first year, they would have been tremendously less attentive to spiritual purpose and divine participation. In other words, they might have missed the God-gift.” (Beth Moore, Patriarchs, p.107)

This statement encourages me as it seems the promises He’s given me are taking forever to be fulfilled.

A couple days ago I prayed, naming off the things I long for, surrendering them to Him:

“Lord, even if I never _______, _______, _______, _______, _______, I will praise You. I will live my life to bring You praise and glory. Life is all about You.”

The release then I felt inside was sweet.

Beautiful Surrender
Bringing peace in the storm
Settling fears
Quieting desires
I surrender to You, Lord
Life is all about You
By You
Through You
Back to You
I choose faith
I choose
To trust You
Faithful, Loving God
Your desire,
Not mine
Your glory,
Not my pride
I surrender
Everything I am
To You

Journal Entry 8 May 2009

I feel like I have been doing jet lag with Ben — awake when he’s awake, napping when he naps. :-)

James 5:9
“Brothers, do not complain about one another, so that you will not be judged. Look! The judge stands at the door!”

Ugh. Convicted. God, please forgive me. Help me not complain about anyone—from my precious kids to the kombi drivers. I sort of lost it yesterday. I didn’t flip the dude off, but I became horribly offended and didn’t let him cut me off. I’m tempted to elaborate, but even to this the Holy Spirit says “no.”

He told me to view the difficult experiences while out in the world as opportunities to show mercy. Wow. To practice showing mercy. To not have an offended spirit while practicing showing mercy.

Praise Him!

It’s amazing how much just considering this lifts my spirit.

God, please give me wisdom. Please fill my heart with sincere love and compassion for everyone, especially for those who can be challenging for me to love.

I love asking You for stuff like this, because I know it’s in Your will! I believe You’ll do this miracle in my heart! Thanks in advance, Lord!

Oh, Happy Day!

Right now it is the middle of the night. I’m awake with jet lag, having just returned to Swaziland from the States. After walking and praying for a while (Lord, please be with the missionaries! lol), I grabbed my Bible and headed to the bathroom where I can turn on the light without waking anyone. I’m loving what I read:

Zechariah 3:4
“See, I have removed your guilt from you, and I will clothe you with splendid robes.”

Context? Joshua, the high priest, was standing before the Lord with satan standing nearby to accuse him. The angel of the Lord rebuked satan. By order of the Lord, Joshua’s excrement-covered clothes were removed and replaced.

Many things about this passage that minister to my spirit.

Before satan spoke a word, he was rebuked. It’s like the angel was saying, “Ah, no, I know what you’re about to say, and the LORD ALMIGHTY says to shut up!”

Joshua was a priest—the high priest—yet his filthy clothes represented his guilt. Perhaps he did some of the things satan was about to accuse him of doing. Sometimes I feel like because I’m already a believer, I need to beat myself up when I sin because I should know better. That’s what the enemy wants me to do. Yet the Lord didn’t do that with Joshua.

The clothes were taken off, and with them the guilt was carried away. God says, “See! All better! No more stinky stains! No more guilt. Here’s a fresh start, too.”

In a few days, much of the world will pause and acknowledge Christ’s death and resurrection, an event the Lord predicted in that same chapter:

Zechariah 3:9
“I will take away the guilt of this land in a single day.”

How HUGE is that?! All of the guilt of the WHOLE WORLD—the sins of every person who has ever lived or will live—wiped away in a single day!

Any guilt we carry around now is completely unnecessary (and a deception the enemy loves) because Jesus paid the whole price. His sacrifice is sufficient. God passionately loves us, which is what drove Him to lay His life down for us. THIS is a reason to celebrate!

I love this because even as I padded into the bathroom tonight, I was dragging around with me some guilt about things I’d said and done recently that I shouldn’t have. I’m afraid I’ve hurt some people. I’d repented, but it didn’t seem to help this antagonizing guilt. Then the Lord reminded me that this guilt-load is not mine to carry. Repent? Yes! Make things right? Yes! Walk with slumped shoulders, carrying a load of guilt? NO!!!

Oh, thank You, Lord Jesus, for Your sacrifice, for loving me enough to do that. I’m so glad You love me. Oh, please help others know Your love too!

Oh, Happy Day, Happy Day!
He washed my sin away!
Oh, Happy Day, Happy Day!
I’ll never be the same;
Forever I am changed!

Powerful Enough

8 March 09 Journal Entry

Nahum 1:12b-13
"Though I have afflicted you, I will afflict you no longer. For I will now break off his yoke from you and tear off your shackles."

Lord, once again You have let me encounter my own weakness. Determination alone can't get me out of the shackles of pride, self-absorption, food, skin-picking, vanity, laziness, doubt...

The ugly list could fill many pages, I'm afraid. But Jesus, this is why You came and died. Your Blood is powerful. Powerful enough to not only forgive me and wash away my guilt, making me white as snow (Hallelujah!), but also powerful enough to deliver me from the clutches of the sin so I don't have to be stuck in the rut of repeating that sin.

Still, Father, I'm fighting battles. Please deliver me!

Thank You for allowing me to encounter my weakness which helps to combat my ugly, ugly sin of pride.

I love You, Jesus. I'm so thankful that You love me despite my junk.

I trust You, Abba. Please be king of my heart, ruling all my decisions. Please change my desires to be in conformity to Your will.

Awesome God. I love that You care for me. I take security and comfort in that knowledge.

Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so