27 April 10 Journal Entry

Excerpts from 27 April 10 Journal Entry

Yesterday I watched a Louie Giglio DVD: Christ in You, the Hope of Glory, Pt 1.

Main point: We CAN’T get out of sin without Christ. We don’t need to be fixed, we need to be saved. We CAN’T do it on our own! Christ takes us out of our sin, comes into our hearts, and places us in Him as well. Louie had a Tupperware analogy. He labeled boxes and placed them inside one another. What stuck out to me was his point, which was not by any means new to me, but the revelation was fresh:

“We CAN’T live a righteous life on our own.”

Object lesson for me:

Before the video, Levi tried building a fire and failed. Finally, I gave it a shot and failed. Then Levi, Trinity, and I went a few steps outside our gate (their eyes were big, “We’re going OUTSIDE our gate, Mommy?”) and gathered sticks and cut grass for kindling.

Problem: everything was wet. Ends up we also had too much ash in the fireplace from the previous fire so the air couldn’t get to our meticulously built teepee of sticks, paper, and semi-wet grass. I tried and tried for about 45 minutes, even praying for the Lord to make the fire go.

I finally gave up, frustrated. It was a holiday, so nobody was around who I could ask for help. I thought about going to the grocery store for fire starter, but wasn’t sure if it would be open. I decided we’d just get fuzzy blankets and make due without it.

I gave up.

I read books to Trinity, then I put in Louie. During the message, Joyce popped in, wondering if I wanted her to work. I’m not sure why she thought that—it was Monday, her normal day off, as well as a holiday. But here she was, ready to go. I saw her notice the mess of effort around our fireplace. She was kind but obviously amused. I asked her if she would take a minute to help us build a fire, joking about it perhaps being a “malungu” thing to not be able to build a fire (which it is joked about among Swazi’s). She laughed. She cleaned up the ash, dumping the tray somewhere outside.

Within minutes (with one match to my 25) she had a raging fire going. She was pretty non-chalant about it, too, and had no boy-scout teepee of sticks to get it going. Her BARE hands can move things around in a hot oven, take a bee-sting and feel nothing (calloused!), and move around papers with her fingers literally in the flame. She did it, and made it look so easy.

It was a gift. She didn’t have to do that.

So, during the resumed DVD, as Louie was saying, “We CAN’T do it! We need a Savior!” my eyes fluttered to our now raging fire. The Lord reminded me of how I gave up and walked away from it. All the perseverance and effort on my part was fruitless. I needed someone to do it for me. Joyce was Jesus personified to me yesterday.

And Jesus helped me see how this applies to the rest of my life. My antagonizing bad habits (like skin-picking and food-obsessing)—I can’t beat them without Jesus doing it in me! I can’t kick my legalistic tendencies. I can’t be kind, and certainly not love unconditionally. I mercilessly judge others, and then become guilty of the same thing. My family endures the brunt of that. (I’m so sorry!)

Louie said that when God looks at us, He sees us and loves us, but mostly He sees Jesus. Jesus IS our righteousness. He did it for us as He knows we cannot.

Colossians 1:27
“God wanted to make known to those among the Gentiles the glorious wealth of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”

What I read in Daniel yesterday adds to the message it seems the Lord is pressing to me: SUBMERGE myself in CHRIST. Not a new thought, but somehow, once again, I’ve gotten very wrapped up in it being my own effort.

I know, from times in the past, the more I’m consumed with simply KNOWING Jesus and being close to Him, the less I am run by my flesh.

Lord, please help me GET this! Once and for all, not waffling back to old patterns.

Colossians 2:6
“Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.”